Blake's Catnip Catastrophe
by Drass'ir Wyrda
Summary: Blake and Yang stumble upon a pet shop and Blake gets a little...well, you'll find out. Now completed, please leave a review telling me what you think, and as always, enjoy! Blake x Yang (Bumblebee) !Kitty Blake!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: So, to start things off, just in case you didn't read it in the description, I plan on writing a second part to this. I'd let it just be on it's own, but this was just too much fun to write a Catnip-Induced Blake. Secondly, and this may sound cheesy, but I think I'll dedicate this one to Tear of Light, a user who has reviewed my stories multiple times and has given me a lot of support as I begin to write. It's people like him(Her?) who review and favorite my stories that encourage me to write better and longer stories, so hats of to him. If you do end up reading this, thanks again, your positive feedback means the world to me. As always guys, enjoy the story.**

"You know, I've never been on one of these before." I nervously tilted my head away from the girl beside me, staring instead at the pattern of pentagonal stones that made up the sidewalk we were currently walking on. Yang had asked me on a date the day before, coming up to me when Ruby and Weiss had already left to… further their romance, I suppose you could say. What surprised me the most was Yang's demeanor. I had never seen her so nervous, she was stumbling over her words and looking at the floor, at first I thought she was sick. Then she got the question out of her mouth, and it was my turn to stutter awkwardly. Eventually I managed to form a coherent "Okay" and Yang's face lit up with a smile so radiant I feel warm just thinking about it. So here we were, walking down a sidewalk in downtown Vale City, looking at the various wares displayed in the Shops' windows. Yang laughed quietly at my comment, grabbing my hand with her own.

"Well, you've gotta start somewhere, right? Although I hope you're having more fun than I did on my first date. I ended up having to ditch the guy in a walmart after he tried to get in my pants, the creep." I looked up to see her eyebrows furrow. "I wonder if his nose ever fully healed, or if it ended up crooked permanently. I'm hoping it stayed that way, my knuckles hurt for weeks after that."

A small smile broke out on my lightly chapped lips as Yang finished, imagining Yang punching an unsuspecting man straight in the face. If Yang was seriously punching him, I'm surprised the guy was so lucky as to only get a broken nose and not a concussion.

"Oooh, look at that one!" I snapped out of my thoughts only to notice Yang pressing her face up against a nearby window, staring at what looked to be a jacket identical to the one she was currently wearing. The jacket looked a fair bit cleaner than Yang's, however. Probably because it had never been worn in ten degree weather, a practice Yang has refused to give up.

"Doesn't it look familiar to you?" Yang looked up at me, her wide violet orbs shining like light bulbs. "Like you already own it…?" All Yang gave me was a blank stare, so I ventured further. "Maybe you're wearing it right now…?" She looked down at her own coverings, then looked back up with a look of understanding on her face. Finally.

"I can see how you'd get them confused, but they're actually totally different!" She flashed me a great big grin as I raised an eyebrow questioningly. " See here? This little flap is missing from mine, and the pockets are significantly larger." My palm went to my face immediately. Sometimes Yang could be so daft...

" You do realize that that is precisely what they're trying to make you think, right? It's literally the same damn thing except they sewed a flap onto the shoulder, and now they're trying to charge you eighty bucks for it. And the worst part is, you're actually buying that crap!" My voice had progressively gotten louder throughout the course of the sentence, but my voice had been slightly muffled by my fingers,through which I was talking, so it didn't attract much attention.

"Jeez, you really do hate marketing, don't you?" She said, looking up to meet my eyes as I removed the hand from my face. "Now, is it because you find it morally wrong, or did you just get scammed into buying too many cat toys?" She smiled slyly as she tugged me along towards the next shops' window. I sighed tiredly.

"Can you stop it with the cat puns already?" She threw a sideways glance at me.

"What, don't you find my sense of humor simply _purr_-fect?" She barely finished her sentence before breaking out into laughter at her own mediocre joke. It wouldn't have been that bad, if it weren't the fifth time I had heard it that day.

My thoughts were halted, however, when we walked past a certain store, it's sign hanging proudly.

_Patrick's Pet Emporium._ A fitting name, considering the multitude of clovers that decorated the outside of the little shop, sneakily hidden away between two significantly larger (And also nicer looking) places of business. The name and decorations were not what caught my attention, however. Instead, it was the peculiar sensation I was experiencing while walking past it. It almost felt giddy, my heart rate increasing dramatically. I was tempted to ask Yang to stop for a moment so I could linger outside for a moment longer, enjoying the feeling I was getting. Thankfully, I did not need to, as Yang suddenly whipped me around towards the door, rambling.

"Awwwwww, lookatthepuppiesaren'ttheysoadorable!" I could hardly believe she had gotten the whole sentence out in one breath, even though all I could make out was "look" and "puppies", but I wasn't paying attention to Yang anymore. The sensation had increased upon entering the store, and I was determined to find the source. What could be causing this wonderful feeling I was undergoing? I started down one aisle, only to turn around seconds later as I felt the sensation being to lessen. As I walked, I spotted what looked to be a weed on the ground. I curiously picked it up and held it before my eyes. As I did so, the feelings of giddiness and excitement suddenly grew exponentially, and I began to feel light headed. The feeling was almost intoxicating at this point, and I leaned on a nearby shelf, taking a deep breath, drinking in the scent of whatever this stuff was. Turns out, that was a controversial decision. While the happiness in my chest further increased, I almost passed out, my vision becoming blurred. I felt myself sink to the ground my back resting heavily on the shelf of rectangular bird cages behind me.

* * *

I'm not sure how long I just sat there, blissfully unaware of my surroundings as I simply basked in the glorious substance that I weakly held between my odd rumbling noise was being emitted from my throat, but I thought nothing of it, my thought only of that which was so dearly held between my hands. My eyes had closed at some point during this exploit, so it was doubly surprising when the small weed-like thing was suddenly plucked from my grasp. My eyes shot open, only to glare straight into the grinning face of the very girl I had arrived with.

"Whatcha got there, Blakey?" She pulled away as I lazily swiped at her hand, attempting to reclaim my lost treasure.

"Gimme." My speech was slurred, and my vision was still impaired, so my efforts at taking back the plant did not prove successful, only causing Yang's grin to widen even further.

"Seems to me like you found yourself some catnip!" I stopped struggling. Catnip? Catnip? You have got to be joking. I realize that sometimes my Faunus instincts can get strong, but the cause of my previous trance-like state was catnip? My cheeks reddened as I weakly rose from my position, noticing the small trail of drool that had leaked forth from my mouth.

"Let's go." I said tightly. I started to make my way to the exit when Yang grabbed my arm.

"Ah-ah-ahh, we can't leave yet…" She gave me a wry smile. I didn't like where this was going…

* * *

"Really Yang? Did you really have to buy that much of the stuff?" I questioned the blonde through the scarf that had now been moved from my neck to wrap around my face, specifically covering my mouth and nose.

"Yep!" She responded cheerfully. "This way, whenever you get irritable or all up tight, or when one of the characters in your books die, I can just pull out some weeds, throw 'em at you, and poof. Problem gone! Angry Blake neutralized, Sad Blake silenced." She gave me another one of her trademark "Deal with it" smiles. "Besides, you know you love it."

"I do not! The stuff makes my head hurt." I might have been lying to Yang, but if it'll stop her from using more of the stuff on me, i'd lie a thousand times. Unfortunately it didn't look like it would actually have an effect on her.

"C'mooon! Just take a quick whiff, you know you want to!" Yang sing-songed as she shoved a handful of catnip into my face. My first reaction was to take it and enjoy it some more, but there was no way I was doing that in front of Yang twice in one day, so instead I pushed her hand away.

"Let's just go home." My face in a pout, I rushed ahead of her, removing my hand from hers and shoving both into my coat pockets.

**Author's Note: So, what'd you guys think? As I've already mentioned (several times), I plan on writing a second part to this story, so keep on the lookout for that, and thanks again to Tear of Light, I really can't thank you enough. This is me for now, so auf wiedersehen to all, and to all a good night! (I just thought I'd put something Christmas-y in there, sue me.)**


	2. The aftermath

**Author's Note: Hello! So many apologies for the finale to this story coming so late, but I wanted to enjoy the christmas season with my family, and have just recently found the time to write this bit. Not much fluff in this, at least until the end, so ye have been warned! As always, positive/constructive/critiquing reviews are always welcome, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and new year, and enjoy!**

* * *

I hate catnip. Now you may be thinking, "Why, she can't hate catnip! She's a faunus! Just yesterday she first discovered the substance, and was completely and entirely smitten with it's effect!" Yes, yes and yes. I _am_ a faunus, I _did_ just discover the stuff and I _do_ love the effect of it, but that's just it, you see. I enjoy the effect it has on me, yes, but I _despise_ catnip. This is not because of any personal reasons or things of that nature. No deep-seated hatred of catnip dating back to when I was a child and my father somehow caused a serious distaste for an otherwise harmless weed. On the contrary, I have only recently taken to disliking catnip, but this emotion comes with the utmost of reasons, the most sanctifiable justification a (cat)person could ask for; I hate catnip because _Yang_ got involved.

I look up from my current choice of reading material, a weathered research text on the anatomy of birds by some no-named author with what seems to be a life-threatening spelling problem, to see Yang staring straight at me with the eyes which had so fully captivated me in the past. But not this time. Having learnt from my past mistakes, I icily returned the gesture, keeping my eyes glued to hers while at the same time steeling myself to refuse whatever mouse-brained scheme she has come up with this time.

"So Blake, I see you're reading a book there…" I cocked an eyebrow at her sing-song tone.

"Well damn, I guess my cover is blown then, huh?" Despite my comment, she pushes on energetically, completely ignoring any and all discouragement I may have been trying to convey.

" You know… Ruby and Weiss's beds are looking awfully messy, dontcha think?" I turned my head to peer over at the neatly made beds of Weiss and Ruby. Ruby, of course, did not make her bed herself, opting instead to allow Weiss, the more organized individual in their haphazardly romantic relationship, make it for her. I suppose it was Weiss's way of showing affection, though to this day I continue to find any display of kindness from the Ice Queen to be only slightly suspicious. Still, whenever they're directed at Ruby, things usually turn out alright, more or less. Although sometimes Weiss could be a little.. odd, I suppose, in showing Ruby she cares. Ruby had complained to me earlier in the day that at some point, Weiss had given her a second, this time more in-depth, pamphlet on dust and it's uses as a gift, saying Ruby had ought to "better her knowledge of more sophisticated matters". Ruby, of course, saw it as Weiss demeaning her, giving cause for me to explain to her the subtler ways of showing a significant other that you cared.

Regardless of Weiss's unusual romantic measures, however, the fact still remained that their beds were pristine and Yang had needlessly diverted my attention from my book.

"Yang, their beds are fine, just like always…" I returned my gaze to Yang as she smiled at me coyly, her golden locks swaying slightly as she cocked her head.

" Oh really? Funny, maybe it's just me then. Sometimes I can be so silly, you know?" She bumped her palm against her temple, smiling devilishly all the while, something was off about her, but I just couldn't figure out what.

I decided against investigating further. With Yang, sometimes you could travel to the ends of the Earth to find something only to find out there was nothing there in the first place. In situations like these, and especially when Yang was involved, it was always better to just ignore it and hope it doesn't involve you, and hope that it won't come back later and bite your...

Yeah, right.

* * *

I turned my lamp off, the click of the switch resounding throughout the room as it was submerged into a heavy darkness. My nightgown's generous sleeve slid down my arm as I retracted it from the light switch, bringing it closer to my body as I slid further down under the covers. While everyone else had long since gone to sleep, it was not unusual for me to stay up hours later than the others, reading ravenously. Tonight, however, I was feeling especially drowsy. Perhaps it was the day's classes, or that earlier encounter with Yang, but I simply didn't have the energy to stay up as late as I usually did.

I wearily closed my eyes as I allowed my body to go limp under my covers. I really was tired. This was odd, however, as I hadn't really done all that much throughout the day. It's not as if it really matters all that much, and besides, I felt great despite my fatigue. Maybe it was because I was resting, as taking a rest after doing something strenuous always feels good, but I just felt good. I couldn't explain it, it was as if I was on drugs.

I flipped over in my bed and buried my smiling face into my pillow, the cool fabric feeling good against my skin.

Huh, this pillow feels strange… It felt as if there were something inside my pillow, or maybe my pillow case. I briefly considered turning out the pillow case in order to dismiss any rising suspicions, but quickly turned the notion down. I was enjoying myself too much at the moment to give reason to do anything but envelop my mind entirely in the sweet scent that so gently tickled my nostrils. My smile grew yet larger as I absentmindedly rubbed the pillowcase on my skin, enjoying the sensation arising from the action. I seemed to recall this sensation, as if I had experienced it before, even recently. I couldn't figure it out; it was as if the answer was hiding in the back recesses of my mind, tucked away in a corner where nobody would ever find it…. Similar to the pet shop Yang and I had recently visited. The pet shop… that was where Yang-

My unconsciously closed eyes shot open, my body no longer limp, instead moving in a flurry. I tightly gripped the lightly crumpled pillow in my hands, flipping it so that the opening was on the bottom. I had barely begun shaking the bag when little brown scraps came drifting out, falling toward my mattress until eventually resting upon the soft cotton covering.

Catnip, I thought in disgust. Just how in the world did Catnip, of all things, get stuck in my pillow? My eyes narrowed as my mind honed in on the obvious culprit.

Yang. As if it wasn't perfectly clear... How else would Catnip mysteriously "appear" in my pillow? _Appear_. More like planted there by a certain blonde fighter who was about to feel the full effect of my rage.

Or maybe not. I could just get out of bed and simply attack Yang; that was always an option. But perhaps, just maybe there was a smarter way of conducting my revenge.

After all, if Yang want's to play dirty and try and trick me, why don't I just return the favor? I had to think about this. What was the most efficient way of getting back at Yang? What could I do that would get the message across? I had free reign, after all, Yang had pranked me first; I could do whatever I wanted. I pondered these choices for a short while, before settling on a victor. A smug smile was plastered across my face as I slowly got up and disposed of the accursed drug-like weed, depositing it into the nearby trashcan carefully, making sure not to become too afflicted by it's nearly intoxicating scent. I then made my way over toward the kitchen of our little home away from home, being grateful of my superior vision in the dark thanks to my aunus roots. I deftly selected the smallest knife available from the drawer, and heading over to the raised bed of a sleeping Yang, I began my work without the slightest hesitation...

* * *

When all was finished, I took a step back and admired my handiwork, wiping the thick crimson liquid on a nearby rag. I silently nodded to myself, satisfied with my revenge. Perhaps I had gone a tad too far, but given the fact that Yang had actually gone so far as to use drugs to play a pranks, I thought my actions warranted. And so, tired and only wishing to get back to my warm, soft bed, I clambered underneath the blankets and drifted off to sleep quickly, eagerly awaiting the events of the coming day.

* * *

"_AAAAAAAAAAAH_!" I jolted awake as a piercing screech tore through my brain, resounding from above me. My first instinct was to spring up and find out what the trouble was, but I quickly gathered my wits and instead slunk back down into the warm folds of my bed.

"What's wrong, Yang?" I quietly asked as Ruby and Weiss, having climbed out of their own beds, stand across the room, their mouths hanging open as if being pulled down by an invisible force.

"Which one of you did this?! I swear I am going to murder whoever is responsible for this! And to think, I just got it cut…" Yang continued to whimper to herself as she nursed her hair. Her previously wild and free blonde locks were gone; replaced instead with a short and neatly trimmed haircut, complete with a cutely crimson coloring.

"I don't see any problem, Yang. I think it even suits you." I removed myself from my warm bed and casually made my way over to the nearby mirror, calmly preparing myself for the busy school day to come.

"It was you, wasn't it! How could you do this to my beautiful hair?!" She looked so cute when she was distressed. Really, I almost felt guilty.

"It wasn't hard, really. They have a new product out. It's kinda similar to hair chalks, except it lasts way longer. Although I really don't see why you're so upset, I wasn't lying when I said it suits you. I always thought I might look nice with red hair, so I picked up some dye a while back. I never actually went through with it, but I must say I'm happy I didn't, this makes me much happier than if I had dyed my own hair. Think of it as a makeover, as a thank you for the Catnip you so kindly put in my pillow." I figured it would be easier to just put it all out at once, but Yang just got more wild, hopping down from her perch on her bed, still clothed in her provocative night wear.

"But did you really have to cut it too? Couldn't you just have stopped with the dye?" Yang suddenly whirled 'round to look right at me as I fiddled with my shirt in the mirror. "How could you do this to me?" She suddenly stepped closer to me dramatically, her arms flailing theatrically. "Do you know what you-" She stopped short as she noticed her reflection in the mirror. I was unceremoniously pushed aside as she moved closer, toying with her hair and gazing curiously into the mirror before her.

"Well, I guess it isn't _that_ bad, the color's nice." Just like that, Yang seemed to have calmed down and was now trying various poses in the mirror. "You know, Blake, you might think of this as revenge, but I gotta say, I'm liking the color!" She flashed me a great big grin as I sighed. Even when I'm _trying_ to make her upset I can't do it.

"Maybe I like it _so_ much that I just might see fit to give you a little... thank you present." I backed away a few paces as Yang smiled deviously at me, rising from her position in front of the mirror to begin slowly walking in my direction.

"No, that's fine, thanks. Really, I just wanted to do a good deed, no thanks needed!" I put my hands up and laughed nervously. "I'm uhhh, I'm glad you like it though!" I smiled halfheartedly as Yang continued to advance towards me. "Ruby, Weiss, uhh … a little help here?" I looked over to see Ruby smile apologetically at me, while Weiss remained stone-faced. Some people just want to see the world burn. Or maybe they just wanted to see me burn. Either way, they were not helping my situation.

My thoughts were cut short when I was suddenly gripped in the tightest and strongest embrace to ever exist on a single plane of existence. It felt as if my spine was going to snap at any moment. My eyes bulged as all the air within my lungs was suddenly thrust out.

"Thank you, Blake… thank you so much." Yang's words sounded muffled as my entire head was encased within her massive cleavage. While that may have been nice under other circumstances, it was not as pleasant now, as I was quickly becoming deprived of my much needed oxygen. I weakly struggled against the monstrous bear-hug, letting out a faint cry of distress as it became increasingly more difficult to get my thoughts in order. If only I could get out of here, I was beginning to lose feeling in my legs...

My shriveled lungs surged as new, fresh air filled them and the mountainous pressure that had mounted on my back receded. My body went limp as I instantly crumpled to the floor, gasping for breath.

"Don't you think you went a little… overboard?" I heard ruby question from across the room. I was suddenly hoisted up from my position on the floor and thrust onto my now crumpled bed. Yang sighed.

"Yeah, I guess I did a _little_." Yang's face suddenly became mildly apologetic. " Sorry about the Catnip, Blake, but damn, you really know how to get back at someone, huh?" I watched with my head against my mattress as Yang huffed, leaning against the nearby wall, her newfound haircut flowing slightly.

"I guess I did go pretty far...sorry." I looked away from Yang, suddenly unable to look at her now alien head. Expecting further scolding for my less than subtle approach towards revenge, I was taken by surprise when a body slid into the space next to me, draping an arm over my waist.

"No, I think this is my fault. I just…" I felt her shift beside me. "No hard feelings, alright Blake?" My eyes widened at Yang's sudden show of empathy, an emotion which is so rarely displayed by her.

"No hard feelings, Yang." The warmth spreading throughout my chest flared as I was pulled closer into Yang's embrace. Her presence next to me was calming, as if I could lay there forever, oblivious to the outside world and be completely fine with it. In that moment, all I cared about was the crazy blonde pressed up against my side. The blonde who had entirely captured my heart, even at those early stages. All I cared about was Yang.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, what'd you think? Personally I thought it could have had some more bumblebee fluff in it, but I didn't want to overload you all. Please, leave a review if you feel so inclined and I hope this little bit brightened your day just a little bit. Thank you all for reading, and until next time, farewell.**


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